When I turned 21 years old, I wrote a blog post called “Would Young Me Like Me Now?“, in which I revisited the list of things 10-year-old me wanted for myself by 21. Now, 5 years later, having just turned 26, and still having this blog (even if I’d mostly abandoned it), I figured it was time to return to the post and ask that question once again.
I’d completely forgotten about this post. There are hundreds of posts on this website now. But, in July, as I was re-organising this website and clearing broken links (thanks SEO), I came across it once again, and stopped reading, with the promise I’d revisit on/around my birthday.
Who is “young me”?
In the original post, I was 21, writing back to my 10-year-old self. This post, we’re getting extra-meta, as I write back to my 21-year-old self as she addresses my 10-year-old self. Confusing? Yes. But, such is life. So without further ado, let’s see how far we’ve come (if at all).
The list
10-year-old me had a list of things she thought she would have achieved by 21. 21-year-old me was far more understanding of the fact that those things may not happen straight away. I feel like 21 was the year I started to mellow out a bit and realise I can’t prescribe deadlines to life. I wasn’t amazing at it, but I was definitely on the way, so I actually am quite intrigued to re-read what she wrote.
21-year-old me was supposed to have…
A published book
21-year-old response: This is still a pipe dream for me. I have fully written novels, but haven’t done much with them because, as it does, life took over. However, young me has no need to fear, I’m still working on it! One day, young one. One day.
I write this, a year and a half into having a Literary Agent, having just finished and submitted the first draft of my debut novel. Having a published book no longer feels like a pipe dream, and now something I am legitimately on my way towards. While it’s still a way away, it is happening, and that is probably the thing I’m proudest of.
Oh, and my Literary Agent found me through my blog. So, all of this led to me getting closer to my biggest dream.
A boyfriend
21-year-old response: 10-year-old me was convinced she’d be an adult with a boyfriend by the time she was 21. Although I don’t place as much importance on relationships anymore, I do have one. So, I guess 10-year-old Jas can be happy with that.
That boy sucked. And I knew it while I wrote the post, but I have learnt that I’m a real trier in all aspects of my life. As for now? I have such a healthy mentality with where I stand in relation to myself and romantic partners. It’s taken trial and error and therapy and self-reflection, but I am so happy and proud of my outlook when it comes to men.
A cool best friend
21-year-old response:I have such a large number of people I could go to with absolutely anything now! I have quite a few friends that will check up on me randomly like a best friend would. I am so amazingly lucky with the friends I have, and I do not know how I became so lucky. Congrats young Jas, you overdid this one.
Still true, and I thank the particular people I was referring to in this post for teaching me what a good, solid friendship is like. Whilst I have made (and lost) other friendships in the last five years, coming from such a solid foundation made me so aware of what I will and won’t tolerate. I have such a great network of friends, old and new at 26 of all different dependency levels, and I couldn’t ask for much else.
A better body
21-year-old response: Oh honey. Those don’t exist. Your body could definitely be better, but you’re a lot better at realising that you can’t be so hard on yourself anymore. (Also, isn’t it sad that was already on my mind at 10 years old? Ugh, I hate the emphasis we put on attractiveness).
Despite the spine-chillingly cringey way this is written, I still wholeheartedly agree. Interestingly, since writing this I have lost a significant amount of weight, but for the first time in my life, it wasn’t the cause of vanity/societal pressure, but rather the cause of just treating myself kinder. During the pandemic, I got really into walking, had more time to cook fresh, and had way less stress-related cortisol spikes. The result? A healthier and happier me, that just so happened to change body-wise.
As someone with a history of eating and body issues, I didn’t know how this was going to affect my brain long-term. But it turns out, I’ve done more growing than I thought. My weight still fluctuates, but I don’t care as much as I once would have. I like my body as it is and I treat it however I see fit. Nothing needs to be set in stone.
So, would young me like me now?
In the last post, I concluded that she would, in fact, be very proud of me. Now? I think she’d be quite blown away with how close I am to achieving my goals.
The older I get, the less fear/worry I actually have about ageing. As I watch people older than me reach and achieve their own goals, I realise that age is not an obstacle, but rather a step further along the path. The more that I grow, the more opportunity I have to succeed, and learn more about myself and the people around me.
Thanks for reading if you got this far! I keep saying this, but I am actually back with more blog posts from now on! I have a schedule and more posts drafted after this one, and plenty of ideas and a little more time. I plan to do a big catchup with where I’ve been, so that will be coming up in the next few weeks. But for now…
I wish you the best, and hope you have great birthdays too!
Lots of love,
Jas xx
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