When I relaunched my blog I had big plans for this website. I had goals, lists of posts, a very succinct schedule and filing process that had everything down to the T. I had weekly posts planned until early December and I was ready to boss it… And over the last 4 months, I’ve written a total of 6 posts.
It’s not that I gave up
Trust me. Over the last few months I’ve done anything but give up. In fact, I’d say from June to now (November), I have been working harder on my blog than I ever have before. It’s still a hobby blog – I don’t ever see that changing, but I know more, I have more skills, and I want better content, for both my regular readers and for me personally.
Ooo, she’s ~different~
During my relaunch, I spoke about how much I had changed since the start of the pandemic. I 100% stand by that – in fact, as harrowing as this year has been, my proper transition into adulthood has been one of the best things for me. But if I’ve grown that much in less than a year, imagine how much I’ve grown since starting this blog.
“I did what I could with what I had and I frustratingly accepted that for now, it would have to be enough.”
I started this blog the Christmas of my first year of University. And I only started it because I was incredibly sad all the time, I was really lonely, I knew I didn’t want to be a lawyer and I had no idea what to do next. It was a hobby… a little escapism… a space on the internet that I could use to immortalise my feelings, with the off chance that somebody else may see them and relate.
Back then I didn’t know what it was going to grow into. Back then, I thought my basic site, poor SEO, awful 2-minute phone pictures and endless run-on sentences were as good as it was going to get. But over the years I’ve learnt on the job, grown as a writer, and know far more about coding and SEO than I ever thought I’d need or cared to. And it’s safe to say, that’s massively changed the rate at which I can churn out a post.
I’ve blogged through some hard times
I’m not going to sit here and act like I didn’t “work hard” on the content I used to do, because I did. I really did. But the truth is, I’ve had ideas in my head for a few years now of what the ideal version of my site would look and run like, I’ve just never had the chance to make my vision a reality.
My blog is almost four years old, and for the first three years, I was running it through University. I was broke, incredibly lonely, constantly haunted by my upcoming assignments, and frankly, went through some of the poorest mental health I’ve experienced. I worked my little butt off on this blog, but I was always scraping by. I did what I could with what I had and I frustratingly accepted that for now, it would have to be enough.
The following year after that (Or six months I guess… Thanks for that COVID) went by like a blur. I graduated, moved home, started a new, exhausting job, made new friends, was out almost all the time. Again, whilst I did some amazing things and continuously updated this site, behind the scenes I was scraping by… Giving my last shreds of energy to this and doing what I could.
But now I can exercise my potential
Now here we are, and for possibly the first time since I started this site, I can willingly say that I can make this the best it can be. My life outside of my blog is somewhat settled: I have a full-time job that I love, I see where my future is going for maybe the first time ever and I am making a steady income from both my job and my blog. I finally have the time, the mental capacity and the resources to make my vision for this site a reality. And I want it to be perfect.
I care about how this looks. I care about defining a “brand”, and the way I see this website tying into my future goals and plans (Stay tuned). I’m setting this site up to be the purest reflection of me that there is, and I’ve been working so hard behind the scenes to figure out what that is at its core. It’s not there yet, and that’s upsetting me. But I know that it will be, and I’m really happy with my progress.
So it’s become harder to post
Now that I have this vision in my head, I don’t want to settle for less. If I’m typing a post it needs custom photos, Pinterest pins, website optimised carousel images, a feature image and a branded banner. I need to know the perfect focus keyword, I need to make sure everything is SEO-optimised, and I need to know that in a month or a years time, I’ll still be just as happy with it. And that’s incredibly tiring. And takes a lot longer than you think.
“One missing post turned into five, and all my plans and actions fell by the wasteside.”
So suddenly, my “super realistic” one post a week schedule became a lot less realistic. One missing post turned into five missing posts, and all my plans and actions fell by the wasteside. I’ll probably still publish a lot of them – I had some cracking ideas. But it’s about pacing myself, getting to a point where I’m happy, and only posting when I believe it’s at its full potential.
So my best-laid plans fulfilled their cliche prophecy
And you know what? I’m not mad about it. I want to be able to look at everything I upload with pride, knowing that I did the best I possibly could. And I’ve really felt that with my last couple of posts, as well as some that I have coming up. I’ve always loved having a task and honing a skill, and I’m really enjoying having the mental capacity and necessary resources to finally hone my blogging skills the way I have wanted to for years. I’m excited for improvement, I’m excited for growth, and I’m excited to see what my blog looks like this time next year. Hey – maybe I’ll even come back to this post and see.* I’m sure that would be fun and cute.
Let me know if you want more of these chatty posts in the comments! I could always use more free therapy through writing…
Lots of love,
Jas xx
(*Please note that I almost certainly will not come back to this post. I have a brain like a sieve).
I so relate to this post! I started my blog over 3 years ago back when I was in university and it was always just a fun hobby. It’s still very much a hobby blog but it’s definitely changed over the years (as have I!). I completely agree that as you learn more about blogging e.g. SEO, posts take way longer to write and you definitely get more critical of what you’re writing. Really enjoyed this x
https://www.femaleoriginal.com
Thanks so much! Yes, I suppose it’s inevitable that as we grow and change, our blogs no longer suit us/require changing too! Though we are more critical now, hopefully it’s breeding better work 🙂
I can relate to this. I began my blog almost 7 years ago, before big brand collaborations and SEO were quite as prevalent. I would pour my heart out in my Diary style posts. Now I’m learning to grow and evolve and my blog has changed with me x
I feel this – I’ve done my fair share of diary style posts (Honestly still do – this one sort of is one haha) but it’s great that we’re learning and growing with the times xx