Woooo we’re talking about feelings again… This time: feeling inadequate.
Though being on a gap year was entirely my decision, there is a part of me that gets super in my head about it all. I’m loving being chilled out, and I really love just focusing on what I want to focus on. But, right in the back of my mind, there’s a little voice that keeps telling me how inadequate I am.
Comparison
Whoever said that comparison is the thief of joy was really onto something there. And though I’m relatively good at not letting things others do affect my own path, I definitely have my moments. One of the few things I know that I want to do with my life is to make a difference in some way, and so every so often when I see somebody do something meaningful and powerful, I start to re-evaluate what anything I’m doing really means.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t get jealous. I gave up on jealousy a very long time ago, and I know that somebody else’s successes don’t diminish my own. However, I can be quite hard on myself, so once in a while, I become really stressed about my own progress and how I’m living my life. Right now, I’m right down one of those rabbit holes and I can’t help but feel incredibly inadequate… Like I’m straight down the middle of the line, and nothing that I do or say really matters.
Being inadequate
I’ve talked about suffering from imposter syndrome on here once before, but it’s one of those things that never really goes away for me. Of course, I have moments where I’m proud of myself and I look at how much I’ve done and achieved and I love it. However, more often than now, I’m brought out of that bubble and I wonder why I was given the opportunities in the first place. And it’s an incredibly hard feeling to beat.
At the moment, my brain floats from the “why me?” imposter mode, all the way across the self-hating line to “it shouldn’t be me/it will never be me”, and quite frankly, it really sucks. I look at so many amazing people doing amazing things and advancing in their careers and hobbies and then I look at myself: yes, I’m truly enjoying everything that I’m doing, but compared to others it just doesn’t feel like enough. My brain tells me I should be doing more.
But that’s the problem
When I sit back and look at it realistically, I know that if I stay in the “inadequate funk” that I’m in, I’ll never be enough. My brain always wants me to do more; it’s how I’ve always been. And, whilst I may not be able to control those thoughts entering my brain, I can control how I respond to them. So, I need to learn to respond to them with logic and patience.
No, I may not be out there saving the world or doing anything particularly “meaningful” or “powerful” at the moment. However, I am doing far better with this blog than I ever thought I would, working on some exciting projects, and pushing myself every single day. Yes, there are ten other girls exactly like me and I’m probably never going to be massively unique… But who really cares?! I bet those ten other girls are pretty awesome because I sure am.
I’m a strong believer of the “fake it til you make it” mentality… And, whilst I may be feeling down about myself and how I’m not “enough” most of the time, I’m getting a lot better at pretending that I am enough. The longer I pretend, and the longer that I tell myself it’s true, the quicker I’ll start to believe it and the quicker I will be enough for me.
Inadequacy never feels great
No negative self-thoughts ever do. But if we tackle our negative feelings head-on, and we let them know that they aren’t going to get the best of them, then we rise above them as the bigger person. Nobody likes a bully… So don’t let yourself be your own one.
Hope you enjoyed my little ramble! Let me know what you think about it in the comments below, let’s start a discussion!
Lots of love,
Jas xx
If you loved me, you would Pin this post xo
It’s easy to criticize yourself, especially when others criticize you too, right? Great post, thanks for sharing! ♡♡
https://tiateilli.com
Yes, so easy! Thank you xx
Such a great post hun, really relatable. I completely understand feeling inadequate, I often get that, some form of imposter syndrome and it drives me nuts, I’m like you, I’m not jealous of someone elses accomplishments but it makes me re-evaluate where I’m at and I question my own self worth. I really hope that you faking it till you make it helps you realise how awesome you are soon <3 I believe if you put it out into the universe, it will reward x
Jordanne || thelifeofaglasgowgirl.co.uk
Thank you so much! I wish the same for you xx
1000000% agree with absolutely everything here. Comparison is the worst, but I feel like we all do it on some level. Even if you’re the kind of superior being that never lets it get to you, we still look to see how person x or y is doing. Definitely in the fake it ’til you make it camp too x
Sophie
Hopefully we both fake it long enough to make it! xx
I relate with this!! I feel like I constantly get stuck in that mindset of feeling inadequate about myself and being frustrated at my progress, compared to others’ around me! It’s a hard one to tackle! I’m glad that it’s being discussed though!
I’m very proud of all of your achievements as I’ve been reading your blog for over a year and a half at least now and I always enjoy seeing your amazing opportunities!
Sending love!
Claire xxx
https://eclairscares.blogspot.com/
Thank you so much – that honestly means so much to me! xx
I love that you have been so honest about this. I too often feel like I am not enough or cannot do better when staring a challenge in the face, though I always know I can do it and I am enough. It is so hard to want to peek into someone else’s head and look at myself through their eyes and know I am enough when I can only guess at their thoughts and hope it is good about me. It often works better when I stay in my own head! 🙂
Thank you, and yes it’s so hard, isn’t it?
Thank you for opening up and sharing your own journey here. I, too, have struggled with imposter system far more than I care to admit. It’s hard when you find yourself questioning where you’re at and how you got there.
It’s so hard, isn’t it? thank you so much for reading x
I really love how open and honest you are because it’s nice to know there is someone else somewhere who is going through the same kinda mindset I am. You are doing so amazing and your blog is such a unique source of everything wonderful. I really look forward to seeing more
~ Danny | The Variety Lifestyle
Thank you so much, that honestly means so much! xx
I get it. But there’s another way to look at this. Inadequacy is rife. Just consider some of the current world presidents, prime ministers, maybe a few Royals and other public figures. Or think of some of your old teachers or bosses, I bet there are one or two you can remember that were a little bit inadequate at times. In fact I’d go as far as to say that in today’s world, inadequacy has never been less relevant. I bet you could do a lot of things better than some of the people out there being paid heaps to do them. So do the world a favour and go for it! We could use some adequacy right now! All the best and thanks for sharing.
That’s a real unique take haha I like that!
Honestly so relatable! I’m learning to use this feeling as a stepping stone. Whenever my brain starts attacking me with feelings of inadequacy, I just try not to feel too bad and just use the opportunity to take one small step into improving myself in any area. This makes me feel good about myself and at the same time shut my brain up!
Loved your post on this! ❤
I like that! And thank you so much for reading!
I definitely compare myself to others a lot without even realising that I’m doing it at times and I’m trying to stop that because if we really look at what we’re doing it’s always better than we think! X
So true! xx
Really love this post, it is super relatable. With the society we live in it is so easy to feel this way when everyone is showing them living their ‘best lives’ and not showing the normal days. You are unique though, because you are you and that is power in itself! Love this part especially – Nobody likes a bully…So don’t let yourself be your own one. Hit me in the feeelz that bit haha! x
Thank you so much! I’m really glad that it resonated with you xx